Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative).

My brother, whose shadow I'll always be living under. He's undoubtedly bright, and a son any parent would ask for.

I am really grateful to have such a wonderful brother yet at the same time, I do feel jealous. As I grew older, more of the jealousy died because I'm really thankful for all the things he had done for me and how he's able to comfort me whenever I'm down. He's like a reliable pillar of strength for many, and I admire him for all that he is.

I don't know if I feel inferior, because our lives, personality and interests are so different. But I still feel so overshadowed because everybody around us praises him all the time for producing excellent results, and for being such a good kid too. I'm kind of the opposite ever since sec 3. Honestly it's not because I don't get the praises, and I don't care if all the others

He's the one she'll always love more, because he's just the obedient, filial, sensible, thoughtful kid she likes. She tries hard to not show it in front of me, but it shows. Quite obviously too. She always tells me how she'll be really happy for me if I marry someone like him in the future, or how he's so obedient and sensible and I'll always agree (I really do) but deep down inside..

D once told me parents will always love a child more than the other. Parents like the kid who's more like them, true, they'll always love both but there's always "more".Maybe he sensed the jealousy in me ever since I was a kid, but he's almost never here to love me more. It doesn't feel like a single parent family of course, but sometimes I just feel so empty knowing somebody who prefers me is actually not there.




What am I saying? It's something too complicated to explain, because I can't imagine life without him... but sometimes I wonder how my life'll be if he wasn't there for people to compare me to.

I know it's wrong to feel this way. He'll always be someone I'll love and admire.

This is a really bad post but the cough syrup is affecting me and I can't seem to think properly at all. Goodnight for now.